Sunday, March 25, 2018
Recent Lessons Learned-new segment!
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This is a new, regular segment of the podcast where I discuss recent lessons learned. These are pieces of info that I've read, listened to, or recently watched that made me stop and reflect. I did these as one-offs in the past. There are affiliate links in this segment. Here are five recent lessons learned.
1- Watching Evan Carmicheal's Youtube channel; he had Simon Sinek's Top 10 Rules for Success. The rule that resonated with me was 'be the last to speak.'
'You will be told your whole life that you need to learn to listen. I would say that you need to learn to be the last to speak. I see it in boardrooms every day of the week. Even people who consider themselves good leaders who may be decent leaders, will walk into a room and say, 'Here's the problem. Here's what I think but I'm interested in your opinion. Let's go around the room.' It's too late.
'The skill to hold your opinions to yourself until everyone has spoken does two things. One, it gives everybody else the feeling that they have been heard. It gives everyone else the ability to feel that they have contributed. And two, you get the benefit of hearing what everybody else has to think before you render your opinion. The skill is really to keep your opinions to yourself. If you agree with somebody, don't nod yes. If you disagree with somebody, don't nod no. Simply sit there, take it all in, and the only thing you're allowed to do is ask questions. So that you can understand what they mean and why they have the opinion that they have. '
'And at the end, you will get your turn. It sounds easy. It's not. Practice being the last to speak.'
Here is a link to the Youtube video. http://bit.ly/2havlR4
2- I'm currently reading Ryan Holiday's 'Ego is the Enemy.' In it, he suggests to 'always be a student'. How ego prevents us from being our best self. Here is a quote on page 38:
'The power of being a student is not just that is is an extended period of instruction, it also places that ego and ambition in someone else's hands. There is a sort of ego ceiling imposed-one knows that he is not better than the 'master' he apprentices under. Not even close. You defer to them; you subsume yourself. You cannot fake or bullshit them. Education can't be 'hacked'; there are no shortcuts besides hacking it every single day. If you don't, they drop you.'
If this resonated with you, this book be can purchased here http://amzn.to/2pgNkIH
3 - Listening to the audiobook version of Lewis Howes 'Mask of Masculinity' he discusses the 'Know-it-all Mask' where one feels like they must put up a front as if they know it all to get attention and feel important. This quote is on pages 176-177 of the eBook version.
'Have you ever noticed how people try to fill the dead time in a conversation by rambling on about some random topic? Have you ever noticed someone at work trying to impress the people around them by going on a long rant about something you can't even pronounce? Have you ever seen someone in an important setting suck the air out of the room by making it all about them? They always have a response, they can't let anything go, and they have to show you how smart they are. It's obnoxious, isn't it? Worse, no honest guy can critique that tendency in other people without also having to look in the mirror and admit how often they've been guilty of it themselves. I cringe when I think of those moments in my own life. I can barely stomach thinking of the opportunities I've blown or the fool I might have made of myself. I think; What if I wasn't so insecure or didn't need to feel to prove I had something to say? How different could things have been?'
I've been the 'Know-It-All' guy. Wanting to make sure to get my shit in. This ties into the first lesson. Listen, be a student. I would include the lesson above this one, 'be the last to speak.' No one can know everything about anything. Mr. Howes says 'beware of experts,' 'many of us are making it up as we go along anyway.' If this interested you, the book can be purchased here http://amzn.to/2HEF7ot
4-Last year, Lewis Howes had Grant Cardone on his School Of Greatness show. I will be quoting this particular episode several times in future installments of this segment. Grant Cardone can be a hard teacher, but he is also very entertaining. In this lesson, he talked about how 'Work is a gift from God.' Here are two clips.
Quote 1: 'I think work is the gift that doesn't look like a gift from God. People all talk about they don't want to work; they hate work, they hate their job. Dude, I love my jobs. I love jobs. I love having a place to work. I've been out of work. I'll take any job. I'd rather any job than no job. I'd go flip hamburgers. I like doing dirty jobs. Mike Rowe, I love Mike Rowe because he'll do the dirty job. And I trust people that will do dirty jobs. And I don't trust people that are like, "Oh, J-O-B, just over broke." Dude, you're broke now. If you even know that freaking term, you're broke now.'
Quote 2: 'So, I know Tim Ferris has the Four-Hour Work Week. I don't know why, every time I say time management, I think about Tim Ferris. I'm like, dude, that's dumb ... ain't nobody ever done a four hour work week. I'd kill myself. Might be the cause of depression. Stay busy. Stay busy; you won't put a gun in your mouth. You know? Run from one thing to the next thing, as fast as you can.
And everybody's like, 'Ah man, but what about life balance?' You're selfish. See, you're back to talking about yourself again. But that's what I mean about create the life you want man so that you can have, not balance, but life. Right? I'm doing my life. I don't do jobs; I do my life. So, come in here to be with you today, adds quality to my life. I didn't come to this to spread the Grant Cardone name. I spend time with Lewis Howes because it makes Grants life, Grant's life.'
I love this because it helps to reframe the daily, work grind. The 9a-5p. To watch the whole Grant Cardone interview go here. http://bit.ly/2ph88zw
5 - Finally, I'm currently going through my first book by Brene Brown. 'The Gifts of Imperfection'(great title). She says that as I am right now, I am enough, I'm paraphrasing. I love this. Here is the full quote on page 23 of the ebook version.
'The greatest challenge for most of us is believing that we are worthy now, right this minute.
Worthiness doesn't have prerequisites. So many of us have knowingly created/unknowingly allowed/been handed down a long list of worthiness prerequisites:'
-'I'll be worthy when I lose twenty pounds.
-I'll be worthy if I can get pregnant.
-I'll be worthy If I get/stay sober.
-I'll be worthy if everyone thinks I'm a good parent.
-I'll be worthy when I can make a living selling my art.
-I will be worthy when I can hold my marriage together.
-I'll be worthy when I can do it all and look like I'm not even trying.'
'Here's what is truly at the heart of Wholeheartedness: Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right, this minute. As is. In addition to letting go of the ifs and whens, another critical piece of owning our story and claiming our worthiness is cultivating a better understanding of love and belonging.'
This lifts spirits! If you enjoyed this quote, you could find Mrs. Brown's book here. http://amzn.to/2tPgiE2
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