Saturday, January 18, 2020

My Thoughts on the Killer Inside: The Mind of Aaron Hernandez

I was planning on going out Friday, January 17th. Friends canceled, and I decided to stay in.   Fired up Netflix, the Aaron Hernandez documentary Killer Inside was on the front page.   It premiered Wednesday, January 15th, on the streaming service.    I noticed it was multiple episodes.   One hour each.   I said to myself I would check out the first 15 minutes of the first chapter.   If it didn't grab me, I'd go with something else.

Three hours later, I was glued to the TV as this well-done mini-series hooked me.    This documentary covers the man's life, his talent, his legal trouble, and unfortunate suicide.

The program eludes to several factors which caused Mr. Hernandez's downfall.   Those being:

-victim to child abuse
-never admitting that he was a gay man
-Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy(CTE)
-witnessing his father abusing his mother after he'd been drinking excessively 
-being raised strictly by a homophobic father
-losing his father at the age of 16
-his mother having a boyfriend live with their family shortly after-potentially not fully grieving his father's passing.
-moving to live with his cousin and considering her his mother figure.

All of this causing:

-violent outbursts
-supposedly silencing others who found out, what presumably was his deplorable secret
-criminal activity

What if he had someone to talk to?   Someone, he can safely tell everything.   Would his life have taken a different turn?   

Disclosing old hurt, feelings we consider shameful is tough.   I find it easier to do now in my 40s than I ever could in my 20s.    That being Aaron's age group.

My biggest takeaway from this mini-series; journaling and therapy can go a long way in healing past pain and hurt.

If there are bad habits/behaviors you are trying to stop in the new year, ask yourself, why do I act this way?  Did this naturally come to me, or was it something I learned from friends or parents?   You might be surprised.

Here's a trailer for the documentary.

Find out more about Aaron Hernandez here. 

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