In this episode I talk about going MGTOW.
I enjoy Stefan Molyneaux's material. He's a philosopher, podcaster, YouTuber, and author. In his recent review of the Last Jedi movie, he mentioned MGTOW. I became curious and started looking up information on this acronym.
What is MGTOW?
Who runs the world? Depends on who you ask. James Brown sang that 'It's a Man's Man's Man's World,' but a lot of men living in modern western societies would beg to differ. A few men against the double standards in gender roles and other conditions that favor women and disadvantage men have become part of a pseudonymous online community known as MGTOW
Pronounced 'big-tau', MGTOW stands for Men Going Their Own Way. This movement originated on the web and added more fuel to the fire on the ongoing battle of the sexes. According to their website. MGTOW is for men who wish to preserve their sovereignty above all else.
History of MGTOW
Though this movement seems to have originated online, its ideologies are not new, and some of its ideas go back as far as Ancient Rome and Greece. In fact, most cultures have a historic and natural link to very MGTOW-like ideas.
The book 'The Age of the Bachelor' shows that misogamy is not a new concept and that there are records of men avoiding marriage and choosing the bachelor lifestyle. In 1896, Ernest Belfort Bax summarized why men should resist marriage in his essay, 'The Matrimonial Privileges of Women.' This essay outlines 12 key points on why marriage puts men at an unjust disadvantage and leaves them vulnerable to deception and fraud at the hands of their wives.
In 1898, a group of men formed the 'Anti-Bardell Bachelor Band.' This club's motto was Solomon's proverb, which stated that it is better for a man to live alone in the corner of a house, than in a wide room with a brawling woman. This club's mandate was to oppose marriage and to fight for the liberty of men. All this information points to the fact that misogamy, which is a key tenet of MGTOW, is not a new concept.
Why did it come about?
As with all ideologies and movements, there is a lot of debate over who is a 'real MGTOW.' However, there are always crucial principles that members of these changes adhere to. For example, regardless of the various sects and denominations, all Christians believe that Jesus is the son of God. In the same vein, all MGTOW members believe in recognizing how modern societies work when it comes to the role of the sexes and refusing to feed or buy into this system. The following are dominant MGTOW beliefs:
1. Women are hypergamous. This means that they will always look for the most potent partner they can get through marriage. Today, wealth is equated to power, and a lot of women will look for a rich man to marry. However, in their younger years, a woman may temporarily hook up with a man who is physically compelling and attractive.
2. Females are intrinsically hedonistic. This means that they are materialistic and often pursue sexual pleasure, even though she may be ashamed to admit this.
3. Several social and political changes in Western societies are detrimental to men. Some of the issues raised by MGTOW include 'no-fault' divorces, child custody battles that favor women, easy access to abortion, the contraceptive pill, and unjust alimony claims. All these changes have made it a lot easier for women to trade up their partner for a more powerful man while allowing the state and her former husband to support her. The different social and cultural changes have made it possible for a woman to divorce her husband and leave him without his children or his home.
4. The MGTOW movement argues against some of the claims made by feminists and social observers. They point out that suicide rates are very high in men compared to women, and that men are over-represented in fatal and dirty jobs such as construction work and the military. MGTOW argue that most women have the chance to live long and healthy lives at the emotional and material expense of men.
5. Men are subject to a double standard that expects them to protect women while still accommodating demands for equality. MGTOW argue that women are allowed to 'have their cake and eat it.' Women want a lot of chivalric deference when it comes to certain aspects, but they want to be treated as equals in other aspects. Phrases such as 'Man Up' are frowned upon by the MGTOW movement because they require a man to fit into a certain gender mold and provide for a woman, while still enduring the risk of losing everything he has 'manned up' and worked for in case of a divorce.
6. MGTOW are against a behavior known as 'white knighting.' This involves conforming to chivalric traditions such as buying women gifts or defending her social views publicly. Members of the movement view this behavior as self-defeating, as they argue that the man will be emotionally and financially used up, after which the woman will discard him for a more powerful male. Men who have developed white-knighting capabilities and are unable to determine the direction of their lives are referred to as 'mangina,' which is a vulgar term for complete surrender to a woman.
7. Men who believe in MGTOW ideas say that they have taken 'the red pill.' This is a reference to the Matrix Film, in which Neo swallows a red pill and becomes aware of the true nature of the world and his imprisonment in an artificial reality. Members will often refer to their life before they discovered the MTGOW movement as their 'blue pill' life.
8. Because of all the disadvantages men face, the movement feels that there is no way men can ever win in any heterosexual relationship with women. As a result, the only way forward is for men to 'go their own way' until society either reforms or collapses. They argue that this move helps protect men's financial, emotional, and social well-being. However, the intention of men going their way is not selfish. A lot of men in this movement spend time discussing how to improve themselves financially and how to leave a legacy.
What are the levels of MGTOW?
1. Situational awareness
Men in this group are aware that the odds are stacked against them when it comes to relationships, but they are still willing to take the risk. They know that they are disadvantaged, but they do not necessarily reject this system. While they are different from people who are living a blue pill life and who still wallow in propaganda about patriarchy, they do not entirely fit into the MGTOW movement or label.
2. Rejection of long-term relationships
Men at this level reject all long-term relationships, including marriage and cohabitation. The argument is that there is no reason for men to get married today. When the marriage goes south, the children could be ripped from the man at a moment's notice, and he may never be allowed to see them again. Furthermore, women do not have any social or legal obligation to men, yet men are required to carry all traditional obligations while still conforming to progressive commitments.
3. Rejection of short-term relationships
Members in this level reject any personal relationship with women, including friendships, one-night stands, and dating. Contact is kept at a minimum, and all conversations must be professional. The main reasons for this include broadening definitions of sexual assault and sexual harassment. For example, most members are against heaping culpability on men while removing culpability in women for their actions when defining rape, such as in situations where both parties were drunk when they engaged in sex.
4. Economic disengagement
At this level, a man strives to produce just enough for his survival. He does as much work as possible off the books to reduce taxation and keeps himself in the lowest tax bracket reasonable without negatively affecting his standard of living or way of life. In reality, men do not require a lot of resources to be content. However, women drive most of the consumption in the modern world. Therefore, the best way to incentivize a man to work hard and create was to encourage him to get a family. Even after he loses his family, the law continues to inspire him to produce by requiring him to pay alimony and child support. Economic disengagement is a way for MGTOW members to shun this system.
5. Societal rejection
This involves completely understanding how society works and rejecting the entire system. An MGTOW in this level will minimize all contact with the blue pill world out of disdain or a desire to protect himself. He may interact with others due to his job or public duty. However, this interaction is kept professional and at a minimum. In extreme situations, the MGTOW member may leave the current society altogether and look for a less misandric country to live in.
Why is MGTOW more prevalent today?
Most MGTOW views balk at current social and cultural conventions in the Western world, which is why a lot of the debate is limited to anonymous posts in forums. However, misogamy and the fight for the liberty of the male is as old as antiquity.
In the past, a lot of people who decided to live as bachelors were shamed, and some countries enacted a bachelor tax. However, the internet has made it easier for men who are against misandry to express themselves and to connect with others who have similar beliefs.
Another factor that has contributed to the rise of MGTOW is extreme or toxic feminism. Misandric societies continuously enact laws that favor women to the detriment of men. In most of these cases, men cannot speak up out of fear of being called misogynistic or sexist. Most of these men have gone underground and chosen to become part of the MGTOW movement.
Did MGTOW show up in the recent Star Wars: The Last Jedi movie?
Some of the things that most people found appealing in the old Star Wars movies were the Jedi's and Luke Skywalker. The latest movie provides a fascinating look at the relationship between the sexes in most workplaces. A lot of MGTOW members feel that the latest film was a misandric mess, though there are instances of male characters who chose to go their way. For example, Poe Dameron defies direct orders from his boss. He leads his revel air force to victory, though there are also a lot of casualties. He is reprimanded and slapped by Leia for not understanding the chain of command. He is even demoted for his trouble.
When Leia goes into a coma, she is replaced by Vice Admiral Holdo, who doesn't feel the need to tell Poe Dameron everything about their mission. She urges Poe to stick to his post and follow orders, but he ignores her. Several rebel fighters die as a result of this. When Leia and Holdo finally let Poe in on their plans, he blabs it loudly enough for a DJ to hear them and sell them out. There is a subtle message that women are usually right and men are mostly wrong.
MGTOW feel that most male heroes in the movies have been replaced by female ones. Admiral Holdo is the heroine in this franchise, as she jumped into hyperspace and sacrificed herself for The Resistance. When Finn tries to do the same, Rose stops him and then proclaims that she saved him.
There are a lot of misconceptions about the MGTOW movement. There are people who merely think it is a group of bitter men who have a list of jilted female lovers they are angry about. There are others who believe that MGTOW members are conservatives who are afraid of losing their male privilege. However, both of these accusations could not be further from the truth. A lot of conservatives are pro-marriage, and they would be the first to request men to 'man up' and fulfill their gender roles. Most MGTOW members have been in relationships. However, after a logical risk-benefit analysis and cost-benefit analysis, they have concluded that it is not worth it to pursue any romantic relationship with women. These members would like to continue this path peacefully without being shamed by society for their decisions.
Am I MGTOW?
I'm a child of divorced parents. I believe this has affected my relationships with women for years. Mostly in the commitment area. I would date someone for 2-3 months and end it. I think this was out of fear of potentially getting my heart broken.
In 2017, I attempted to get back into the dating scene. I read books, listened to podcasts. Spent money on subscriptions to Match.com and OkCupid. I also tried Coffee Meets Bagel, Tinder, Bumble. I sent numerous emails, met a person and went on a couple of dates, but she wasn't what I was looking for.
Many attempts but little to no action. I tried this for about six months and just stopped. I went the route of hiring sex workers when feeling horny; I haven't looked back.
This was one of those things I was afraid to do. I still get nervous when I'm doing it. Each situation has been positive but not perfect, and that's ok.
This is where I think I'm going MGTOW. Choosing to not date, to not chase women. In the long term, there is less money spent moving in this direction. I will save my money for other endeavors such as travel or my various projects.
Or is this just an excuse to stop trying to date because its hard. I know anything worthwhile is difficult. The key word being 'thing.' Dealing with people can be unpredictable. Working with a 'thing' typically has a desired outcome.
This is another experiment in a life full of experiments. That in itself is exciting.
Dating Women Podcast http://bit.ly/2Efz7kL
Mindful Habit Podcast http://bit.ly/2C740WD
MGTOW official website http://bit.ly/2nOUt2b
Sandman's YouTube channel (MGTOW Resource) http://bit.ly/1DEMbdd
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Previous Episode: 48 Hours No Cell Phone http://bit.ly/2DXou9P
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