5 Takeaways from Charles Duhigg's Book 'Power Of Habit'

AUDIO VERSION

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YOUTUBE VERSION

I read this book with the hopes of curbing my bad habits.   Those being watching and masturbating to porn, consuming more than creating, and eating saturated fats which I know are bad for my heart.

I felt that the 'Power of Habit'  could've been summed up much quicker. It was padded with the stories and case studies.

Here are 5 takeaways.

Page 20.  'When a habit emerges, the brain stops fully participating in decision making.   It stops working so hard or diverts focus to other tasks.    So unless you deliberately fight a habit-unless you find new routines-the  pattern will unfold automatically.'

Page 73.   'The old cues and cravings for rewards were still there, waiting to pounce.   The alcoholics only permanently changed once they learned new routines that drew on old triggers and provided a familiar relief.'

Page 160.   'But sometimes, even destructive habits can be transformed by leaders who know how to seize the right opportunities.   Sometimes, in the heat of a crisis, the right habits emerge.'

I scribbled a note underneath this paragraph saying, 'Solutions in the problems.    Problems are good.'

Page 220.   'In general, sociologists say, most of us have friends who are like us.   We might have a few close acquaintances who are richer, a few who are poorer, and a few of different races-but, on the whole, our deepest relationships tend to be with people who look like us, earn about the same amount of money, and come from similar backgrounds.'

Page 78.   'If you identify the cues and rewards, you can change the routine.   At least, most of the time.   For some habits, however, there's one other ingredient that's necessary: belief.'

I came to this book looking for answers.    I learned about tools which can help me with my patterns, which I easily fall into.   I feel that if I apply what I've learned here, I can make a positive change in my life and stop feeling guilty when I'm indulging my bad habits.

You can purchase Mr. Duhigg's book here through this affiliate link https://amzn.to/2LcE55U .    It will support both myself and the author.   Thanks!

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8 Goals for 2019 + 10 Continuing Habits

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8 Goals for 2019

1. Work on Bad Habits.

A. Watching, masturbating to porn.

B. Going off my vegan diet regularly(Sometimes/irregularly it's        ok.    Cholesterol is needed).

C. Having unsafe sex.

D. Consuming more, creating less.

2. Continue Therapy.

3. Continue Seeing Sex Workers Safely but be Open To Dating.

4. Travel to Two Places.    Arizona Definitely.

5. Publish a Journal.    10,000 words.

6. Continue Saving  Cash and Investing in Stocks Weekly.   7% or of your pay or less.

7. Fast More often Over 24 Hours.

8. Get Outside, Vlog and Document More Often.   Use Story Format for your Videos.

Continuing Habits

1. Vegan, Gluten Free, Oil Free Diet.   It's Expected I Will have Meat & Dairy Every Once In a While.

2. Sleep 6-8 Hours Per Day.

3. Look Forward to Failure, Rejection, Uncomfortable Situations.    This is Where You Learn & Grow.

4. Continue Reading a Book, Listening to a Book, Reading a 

Comic Book.

5. Writing Is the Number One Activity.

6. Continue Yoga, Exercise and Dancing.

7. Contact Family and Friends Weekly.

8. Improve your Posture.

9. Continue Daily Happiness Routine-15 Steps-As Much As you Can.

10. Stay Consistent with Your 5 Focus Areas of 2019.

A. Podcast

B. Drawing

C. eBay

D. Video

E. Journal Publishing

LINKS

The Model Health Show with Shawn Stevenson-The Hearth Masterclass episode.

Video Creators podcast with Tim Schmoyer-How to Create an Engaging Story

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41 Lessons Learned in 2018

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These are lessons I learned throughout 2018 through reading/listening to books, through podcasts or through reading James Altucher's blog.

If I were listening to a  podcast or audiobook, I'd stop, open up the 'notes' app on the iPhone and type that particular idea or quote.    If the quote was from a book I'd highlight it right then and there.

I wanted to document this so I can look back and not forget these teachings.

Some of the podcast sources(with links)are:

The Mindset and Motivation podcast
The James Altucher Show
The Front Row Factor podcast with Jon Vroman
The Robin Sharma Mastery Lessons
The Marie Forleo podcast
The Smart Passive Income podcast with Pat Flynn
The Jordan Harbinger Show
Freedom Main Radio with Stefan Molyneaux
School Of Greatness with Lewis Howes
Dating Women Podcast with Doc Love
The School Of Podcasting with Dave Jackson
The Tim Ferriss Show
Video Creators podcast with Tim Schmoyer
Scavenger Life podcast with Jay and Ryanne
Porn Free Radio with Matt Dobschuetz

Other times I've deduced some of these lessons on my own as an amalgamation of things, I've read, listened to, or through therapy.

I've listed the areas specific to the lessons and what I've learned.

Creating and Documenting(4 lessons).
-60% of my creativity is born from writing.    Journaling is the #1 activity.
-Stories are how humans have related to each other for ages.   The story formula;
        a. A character wants something.
        b. Goes through conflict to get it.
        c. Is transformed through the process.
This method is great for articles and YouTube videos.        
-The process of creating is art.     Document the process.
-Sleep, play, movement brings forth new ideas.

Regarding Oneself & Reflection(11 lessons).
-How you treat others is how you treat yourself(inner dialogue). 
-If a person you know has an annoying trait, you may have the same.    That's how you recognize it.
-Talking out loud in public is acceptable now with our smartphones and Bluetooth headphones.    It's a great tactic to say how you are feeling out loud.    This can be a release.
-Don't feel guilty about trying new things and dropping them.    This is how we find new activities that we love.
-Perfectionism is self-destruction.
-Listen first and speak last.   You have the benefit of gaining more relevant info this way when it's your turn to speak.
-Love plus persistence equals abundance.
-Honor your strengths.    Accept you beautifully lop-sided self.    Well rounded can be a crutch.
-All addiction is a response to pain.
-Confidence is created through repeated action.
-Ego gets in the way of happiness.


Being Present Now(3 lessons).
-Bring your focus to right now.   The past has passed, and the future hasn't come yet.
-Stop with the 'back in the day was the best.'   The present time that we live in is so much better.   We are so much more advanced than we've ever been.   There are better resources now to do anything your heart desires.   Right now is great.
-Don't mortgage your happiness for later.    Be happy now.

Humanity(3 lessons).
-We as human beings commune with each other.   We are tribal; It's our nature.   We will look for others like ourselves.   
-The brain is meant to protect you.    It will keep you safe and in your comfort zone.    It will not place you in uncomfortable situations where you can grow.
-People are their happiest when they are free not controlled.

Work & Routines(4 lessons).
-Having a job gives purpose and routine.    This can be life-giving.    They are not evil.
-Routines complete projects and/or continue positively reinforced maintenance.
-Having a job allows you to create freely.    It pays the bills while you can explore and experiment.    If the venture doesn't work, you can throw it away and start again.     That's ok.    You don't have to compromise your creativity to eat.
-Getting a job doesn't mean quitting your dreams.

Failure(5 lessons).
-Video games have reinforced in me that progressing, failing and finding another way around an obstacle is the perfect metaphor for life when failing.    Like Ryan Holiday says the 'Obstacle is the Way.'   That's where growth happens.
-You won't have the same success as a role model.   You are not wired the same.    You can have your version of success.   Compete with yourself.
-If something or someone rejects you, be happy!    It wasn't going to be a good fit, to begin with.    
-Your sale skills improve with each rejection.
-It's ok to feel down when getting rejected.    You are human.

Side Money(1 lesson).
-When it comes to eBay, don't throw away most items, list it for sale.

Sex(1 lesson).
-When it comes to masturbation, it is better to use a Fleshlight as opposed to using your hand.   You are ruining the sensitivity of your penis when it comes time for actual sex with someone else.   Erectile dysfunction can occur.

The final lessons are quotes from books I've read this past year.

The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy(3 lessons).

-Page 60.   'Uprooting bad habits that have grown into mighty oaks is going to be arduous and difficult; to see the process through will require something greater than even the most relentless determination-willpower alone won't cut it.'

-Page 135.   This was a quote from John Wooden in the book. 'Mentoring is the true legacy.   It is the greatest inheritance you can give to others.   And it should never end.   It is why you get up every day.   To teach and be taught.'

-Page 140.   'Identify the influence the input of media and information is having on your life.   Determine what input you need to protect your mind from and how you are going to keep your mind regularly flushed with positive, uplifting, and supportive input.'

Start With Why by Simon Sinek(1 lesson).

-Page 41.   'The example starts to prove that people don't buy WHAT you do, they buy WHY you do it.'

Fearvana by Ashkay Nanavati(3 lessons).

-Page 63.   'I learned to shift my mental patterns to loving myself, forgiving myself, and allowing myself to focus on making progress, instead of reaching the perfection of a destination.'


-Page 151.   'We live in a world always trying to make our lives easier, but if you want success and meaning in your life, don't avoid struggle. Welcome it. Seek it out every day.'

-Page 84.   "The words that we attach to our experience become our experience, regardless of whether it's objectively accurate or not' states Tony Robbins."  

Content Inc. by Joe Pulizzi(2 lessons).

-Page 18.   'The key here is that you don't have to be the New York Times or the leading trade magazine in your industry to get people to engage with your content. Readers are open to receiving and engaging in any content that will help them live better lives, get better jobs, or solve a particular task. The point: You have as much opportunity to deliver amazingly helpful content as anyone.'

-Page 205.   'For all for of my books, including this one, a lot of material, ideas, and content originated from existing blog posts. If you have six months of blogs, you might already have half a book. Now writing a book is not an easy endeavor, but you may have a lot of the raw content already at your disposal to develop a book.' 

Have any of these lessons resonated with you?   Let me know.   Please comment below.

Links

You can find the rest of my biggest takeaways for these books here:

Compound Effect
Fearvana
Start With Why
Content Inc

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Action Figure Play with Supreme Leader Snoke

This is an ongoing action figure experiment I’m doing.    I’ve loved action figures for most of my life.   This was inspired by YouTubers who use stop motion techniques and photographers who take pics of 6” action figures.

Here I’ve built the diorama and the setting;    Supreme Leader Snoke is looking to kidnap a very powerful boy.    He’s hired competing bounty hunters to capture the boy.    I’m the voice of Snoke and the rest of the voice actors I’ve hired on Fiverr.     Thoughts?   Comments?   Do so below.   Thanks for watching.

Adios 2018 Mixtape!

As we say goodbye to 2018 the year-end mixtape is now on deck!    This mix includes some of my favorite songs of the year plus a couple of new songs thrown in for good measure.   Enjoy!

Tracklisting:

Hip Hop Mix

1. Ludwig Goransson - 'Wakanda'
2. Jay Rock - 'King's Dead'
3. Nas - 'White Label'
4. Phryme - 'Sunflower Seeds'
5. Swizz Beatz & Jim Jones - 'Preach'

R&B + Alternative Mix

1. Post Malone 'Sunflower'
2. Shakka & Aluna George 'Man Down'
3. Amindi K. Fro$t - 'Pine & Ginger'
4.Toby Mac - 'I Just Need U'
5. Lenny Kravitz - 'Low'
6. Parcels - 'Hideout'
7. Natalie Prass - 'Oh My'
8. Leon Bridges - 'Bad Bad News'

Trap Mix

1. Alan Silvestri - 'The Avengers'
2. Rich The Kid - 'Plug Walk'
3. Gucci Mane - 'Solitaire'
4. Migos - 'Auto Pilot'
5. Lil Pump - 'Drug Addicts'
6. Valee - 'Womp Womp'
7. Rich the Kid - 'Splashin'

Dancehall Mix

1. L'Ochestra Cinematique - 'Daredevil Main Theme'
2. Popcaan & Jah Vinci - 'Steamy'
3. Govana - 'Champ'
4. Masicka - 'They Don't Know'
5. Popcaan - 'Bulletproof'
6. Navino - 'Spare One'
7. Rygin King - '3ZN'
8. Busy Signal - 'Stay So'
9. Vybz Kartel - 'Do it'
10. I Octane - 'Oh No'
11. Jahmiel - 'Level Up'
12. Ching Ching - 'Rice and Peas'
13. Alkaline - 'Deep Sleep'
14. Ding Dong - 'Mayweather'

Soca Mix

1. Shal Marshall- 'Splinters'
2. Fimba - 'Funky Business'
3. Umpa - 'Position'

Afrobeat Mix

1. Tiwa Savage - 'Ma Lo'
2. Lowkey - 'Package'
3. Duncan Mighty & Wizkid - 'Fake Love'
4. Bantu - 'Remedy'


Happy New Year!    Wishing you all the very best in 2019.

Here's the Mixcloud version.




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Dance Practice with the DJI Osmo Mobile 2

There is an affiliate link in this post.


I shot this with my iPhone SE and the Osmo Mobile 2. The music is from the DJI editor on the DJI Go app. I love the 'Follow Me' mode, and that's what I used here.

Interested in doing the same?   You can purchase an Osmo Mobile 2 here https://amzn.to/2AgTn5k

2018 Goals. How did you do?

At the end of 2017, I wanted more for myself.   To be a better version of me.    To overcome old and new fears.   I wrote down these13 goals for 2018 with the hopes of becoming just that.

1.   Doing more of what already works not taking on new things.

Reading this now, I push back on this.    Because if you don't try new things, you won't find that new favorite thing.   While going down a YouTube rabbit hole I discovered the world of action figure photography, action figure play, and diorama building.   I loved action figures in my youth.    This will continue in some form, in the new year.  

2. Travel to Jamaica, Florida, California, Texas, Dominican Republic, Arizona.    Do a cruise too.

Since I've started publicly stating my goals back in 2016, this is the one I've been the worst at.    The only trip I'd taken this year is to Jamaica which was incredible.     See some of those videos here.   At the time of this writing, I started looking into plane tickets to places I'd like to travel to winter 2019.   When I saw the prices of the plane tickets, I thought to myself 'if I'd seen fewer sex workers I'd have more money to travel.'    Something to consider in the new year.

3. Sleep 6-8 hours daily.   A vegan diet with less processed foods.    No oils, a little gluten ok.

I did pretty well here.   I'm finding more of my groove with a pure vegan, gluten-free, oil-free diet.   I did slack off at times and had pizza and ice cream.   I've lowered my cholesterol dramatically, but it's still above average.   I like a gluten-free diet because it keeps my gut down and makes absorption of vitamins better.   I had meat a handful of times this year.   I've been better about my sleep patterns as well sleeping 6+ hours most work nights.    This was inspired by Arianna Huffington's 'Sleep Revolution' book.

4.  Continue 'Daily Happiness Routine.'   If you don't hit all the steps every day that's ok.   But try!

The 16 steps are(they became 16 steps recently):

-Yoga
-Exercise
-Read & listen to books/podcasts
-Journal
-Draw

-Pray
-Vegan diet
-Sleep
-Fast
-Take your vitamins

-Smile be curious, have fun
-Be kind & giving to at least one person
-Be grateful at least once during the day
-Love and accept yourself as you are
-Variety when needed

-Dance every other day.

I did pretty well here too.   But often didn't hit all 16 daily.

5.   Look forward to fear, problems and uncomfortable situations.   This is where you will grow.

Keeping this mindset when these situations would present themselves helped me this year.    The times I was disciplined at work, or when I tried something new and felt uneasy, or when I made the same terrible mistakes again and again.   By repeating this goal in my head, it was easier to deal with feelings of anger, defeat, and frustration that came over me when I failed.  

6.   Publish books from my content.   Sell my artwork.

This was one of the goals that I crossed out, when I wrote this in December of 2017, the idea was to collect my content and self-publish on Amazon.   Publish an audiobook version as well — collections of movie reviews, weird stories, my blog posts.    However, I dropped it.

I did sell my artwork.   It started on Redbubble and Zazzle, but I never spent money(as a consumer)there.    I did on Teepublic and decided to upload my designs there.   I haven't had any sales(haven't check it in months).   I uploaded about five pieces of artwork and planned to do more in 2019.   Check out the store here.

7.   Teach a free dancehall class twice in 2018.

In late 2017 I desired to teach a dancehall class and it happened.    I wrote the goal down to do it twice more in 2018.    This was another goal that I crossed out.    The reason why I crossed out this goal and the previous one?    I felt I didn't have the time or wanted to make the time to do this.   Throughout the last decade, I've done and gotten the opportunity to do this five times.    2 times on my own and three times with other instructors.    I'm ok with that.   I did it.    If someone invited me to teach with them, I would, but as of right now, I'm not interested in teaching on my own again.    I may just be making excuses here.    Either way, I'm ok.

8.   Do not quit on reselling, podcasting, dancing, artwork, or publishing.    Take breaks when needed.

I did well here but couldn't fight the guilty feelings that came over me when I did take a break.   Looking back now, those guilty feelings were a blessing because they pushed me to get back to work on my creative endeavors.   The publishing still didn't happen.    But that bug hasn't left me, and I'm working on publishing a journal right now as of this writing.

9.  Grow the reselling business slowly.   eBay, Poshmark and Amazon MF.

This was another goal that was partially crossed out.   I decided to stick to eBay.    Between work, my social life, and the podcast and all that entails(video, research, writing, editing), my hands were full and adding these other reselling channels required a significant time commitment.    Book publishing, Poshmark, Amazon MF, teaching a dancehall class was all left behind very early in 2018.   Check out my eBay store here.

10. More sex workers, no girlfriend.

This was a big one for me in 2018.   Before this year I'd have times when I would put up a dating profile and send out numerous emails hoping to get someone's attention.    I hardly succeeded there, and when I did get someone's attention, it didn't go anywhere.    Best case scenario we'd date for a couple of months but I'll soon realize that it wasn't for me and I'd end things.   Now when I dove into paying for sex, it was a mind shift.  

I always looked down negatively at people who did that.   I would see it in hotels I'd work at.   The prostitutes come in at night to see guests.     The guests come down to meet them or call down to give so-so(enter exotic name)access to their room.   Now that I'm the guy going to visit escorts in hotels my judgment has changed.

I saw a sex worker most weeks in 2018.   They were all trans women.   I met some interesting people.    The ones I had great sex with I'd see again.   Most were ok, few were terrible.  

I wasn't always safe; I did my blood work multiple times throughout the year.   No HIV thank goodness, but I did get something that resembled gonorrhea, but ended up being strep?    I've taken penicillin for it.

I've had new and exciting kinds of sex this year, and it was something else.

11.    Reach out to friends and family every other week.

While going through therapy, I've realized that this is more important to me than I thought.   As of late, I've been reaching out to a family member every week.    I long for connection, and when I speak with family or see them, it makes me feel warm and at home.

12.   Make more 1-2 minute dance videos.

I made one dance video for the whole year.    I want to make more as I'd like to document my dancing along with the rest of my life for the podcast.    My body over time is diminishing and I won't always be able to do what I can do now.   I want to record this.

13.   Continue your education.   Do so through reading books, listening to podcasts, and watching videos.

My appetite for book reading has grown this year.    I started off with traditional books only, but now I'm listening to two audiobooks, reading a book and a comic book all at the same time.    My dance education has increased due to videos.   Watching other dancers has inspired me to copy them and add that to my dance vocabulary.    I love to learn as it makes me feel that I'm growing mentally and spiritually.

This year wasn't all rainbows and roses.   There were times I was depressed, felt alone.    I was a slave to my bad habits and anytime I would indulge them I'd feel terrible.    I desired intimacy that no sex worker can fulfill no matter how bad I wanted it.    I still lack friends that I can hang out with regularly, be myself and be accepted.    Much of this is on me, I take responsibility for it.   I still struggle with it.    But I don't regret any of it.

Setting these goals and seeing some of them through has made me a better version of who I was on December 31, 2017.  

I'm more relaxed in life.   I see failure and mistakes as gifts.    My ego isn't getting the best of me or making me lose out on opportunities for happiness.   I'm getting better at listening to myself and trusting the flow of my life.    But most of all, loving myself even more so and paying attention to my inner dialogue.

How did you do on your goals for 2018?    Do you still remember any?   Let me know.    Goals for 2019 are coming up soon.

Thoughts? Comments? Do so below or you can contact me by calling or texting 1-201-429-0274. If you leave a voicemail please be aware, you only have 3 minutes.

Email me at improveandhavefun@gmail.com 


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